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Fall Risk

from Fall Risk by Timmy Milner

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about

Fall Risk
Music and Lyrics: Timmy Milner

Somewhere in my restless dreams
a shadow found its way into my young and quiet sleep
preacher told me don’t your bring those dirty hands
to grope and stain the hem of the Lord

I built a mask that served me well
my name was said to be in Heaven, my soul was down in Hell
You tried to call me but couldn’t reach me
all my shame and burden’s keeps me chained to myself

they strap me down and check my vitals
tell me I’ve been suicidal
shove a pill down, hope I sleep
I listen as my mother weeps
his mind is somewhere in between
a crowd of dancing dopamine
who skew perception change his dreams

I wake up on a hospital bed
incoherent thoughts swim through my shaken head
a desk light shows a tattered Bible,
medicine tabs, a cup of water, and a pack of cigarettes

I don’t know what it’s all about
everybody in these halls seem so strung out
I don’t see family, I don’t see friends,
don’t know where I’ve gone or been
but I feel you more than ever before
my soul’s become a wide open door

I forget their names and mix up places
notice stranger’s hardened faces
unaware of year or time
as potent meds distort my mind
and I can’t help but fear that she
won’t stand for this or stand with me
and will my children have to feel
the way I do this thing is real

Then in the night you wake me suddenly
stretch your hands over my broke body
strip the shroud of shame and guilt
and on your ground we’ll start to build
the plans for life that you gave me
as the heir that you have made me
anchored in you hope will be
a light that guides and governs me

© 2018 Timmy Milner

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from Fall Risk, released August 3, 2018

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Timmy Milner Costa Mesa, California

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